Love is in the air! Can you smell it? Wait a minute. Is that  the smell of unrealistic expectations. Valentine’s Day can be amazing or nothing more than a Hallmark holiday that is stressful and makes most people look like unromantic jerks. But, it doesn’t matter.  It exists, therefore we must pay tribute. There are such high expectations and no real guideline of how to meet them. What does one buy for Valentine’s Day? It’s not a holiday like Christmas where you can buy clothes, electronics, or some type of physical gift. I personally feel that this should be a holiday where the gift is not purchased but created. I’m not talking about a set of pot holders you make on a loom. It is a time for thoughtful preparation and consideration. This is the time where you need to pull out every creative ounce of energy from your body and put together the most ridiculously amazing, Earth shattering, selfless romantic gesture to truly capture the essence of St. Valentine. How many people usually hit the mark on this? Frighteningly few! Not everyone has that creative gene and honestly for the most part it is the women with high expectations. Let’s face it, we make it very difficult for men to figure out that one perfect act of Valentine love. We are relatively simple to please. Men just need to figure out the Code.  The truth is, men and women both have the same code but it just varies in degrees. Here are a few basic rules to follow that will set you on the path to unscrambling the code.

Rule #1 Flowers are amazing, but only when they are unexpected.  This shows us that you were thinking about us at a time when you didn’t have to. So I say “No,” on Valentine’s Day.

Rule #2 Going out for dinner is a wonderful idea, when there are no televisions in the vicinity, and when it is an experience, not just a means to fill your stomach. Go to a fondue restaurant, or make a game of the evening by letting the roll of the dice or a draw of a card choose the path of your evening.

Rule #3 Turn your phone off and say, “I want to enjoy every minute of our evening and I don’t want anything to interrupt our time together,” is pretty much the most romantic, sexy thing you can say.

Rule #4 Staying home for dinner is wonderful if there are no little ones around and if you place a chair at the counter where we can watch, “You,” cook while you make sure our wine glass is full and you ask us, and listen, to questions like; Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What things do you hope to accomplish in your lifetime, or this year.  Nothing sexier than a man in the kitchen. Especially one who really is interested in what we have to say.

Rule #5 Prepare an evening laden with ambiance and thoughtful preparation. The pictures below are from a Date Night entitled, An Evening In Paradise that I did a month ago. You can get the gist.

Rule #6 The time and thought you put into a gift, or evening, means more than the gift itself. (See Rule #5)

Rule #7 Do not ask us what we would like to do or where we would like to go. To me that is the same as you saying, “Hey, I haven’t thought once about you in the last couple of weeks, so I don’t have anything planned. You pick so I don’t have to think about you right now either. (See Rule #6.) You could give us options. That shows us that you still thought about us but wanted to get our feedback. Here is a picture of a Create Your Own Date Night sheet that I came up with for my most recent Date Night.  I created it, and printed it out. My husband circled all of his options.

He chose an all day Date that included: Photography, Videography, Relaxation, Alcohol, Food, Drinking Games, No phones for three hours, Just us, Sporting attire, remaining indoors, Out on the town, and the theme he chose was, “Sports, Sports, and More Sports.” I had to work each of these items into the day while incorporating the overlying theme. He also had a write in option where we had to compliment each other every 15 minutes. We covered every one of them except we weren’t great at the complimenting thing, but every 15 minutes? We were very creative with our compliments though:-) We started the day at a place in West Bloomfield Township, MI called Play Golf 365, a year round virtual golfing facility that you can choose whatever course in the world you want to play on. You actually swing your clubs and hit the screen and it records everything. Then we went hunting, virtually of course at the same place. We had our own private room with a waitress who would come at the flip of a switch. Awesome! Next we headed to the Palace in Auburn Hills for a Detroit Pistons game and dinner. We came home and played beer/wine cooler pong to cover our drinking game portion. It was actually a fun challenge to fit everything in to the night. We have both decided that we want to do this again. Here is the link to the page that I created. Create Your Own Date Night

I have included a link to a new Create Your Own Valentine’s Date Night.   Create Your Own Valentine’s Date Night   Just click and it will take you to the Valentine’s Date Night. Feel free to print it out and your Valentine’s Day is taken care of for you. You just have to give the paper to your significant other a week before Valentine’s Day to make their choices. Then you have one week to put all of the pieces together and make it happen. This will work for a woman or a man.

So what is the code?  Time, thought, and interest. You put those ingredients into any gift or Date Night and you will always end up creating a wonderful night of memories. Love each other and make your loved one feel as if they are the most important thing in the world to you!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!