There are many stereotypes regarding men and women. Men in general are thought of as oversexed, unemotional creatures by women. Women are thought of as emotional, unstable, and completely unreadable by men. In some respects there is a little bit of truth in both of these generalizations. Men think things through with logic and reasoning. Women generally are ruled by their hearts and first react with their emotions, then logic is added in. Men tend to see things in black and white. Women see situations in every shade of black, white and gray. This is not a judgment, it is a fact, with many differentiations among individuals, but you get the idea. Let’s face it we are wired differently.

Your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs are all a byproduct of your experiences, and genetic make up. You will truly never know what another person is feeling or how they are reacting to a situation without crawling inside their skin. There is no other human being on this planet that will hold the exact same view point that you will. We lose sight of this in relationships. All we do is make assumptions based on our own reactions to things and physical cues given by others. We are probably only on target about 75% of the time. We don’t go around verbalizing how we feel in each given situation and even if we do its more than likely only mistruths. Another difference between the sexes is that women for the most part tend to hold on to something when we are angry. Men on the other hand do not (generally). I will honestly hold onto something until I feel, in my mind, that it has been resolved. Do I do anything to resolve it? Of course not, I am waiting for him to remember what he has done and fix it!! Communication is definitely not our strong suit. I would sometimes have 6 months worth of itemized things that he had done stored up in my head. I would become more withdrawn and he would not want to be around me because of my angry, withdrawn attitude, which in turn would be added to my list. This became a horribly vicious cycle. From his perspective I was just angry all the time for no reason. From my perspective he knew all of the things that bothered me and didn’t care. I am working on my communication skills and he is working on being more open to communication. My husband and I come from different planets for the most part. At some point, the realization comes that we not only have differing perspectives among genders but as individuals as well. You never truly know a person well enough to predict exactly how they will perceive any given situation. This is why communication is key to all relationships.

I have worked very hard to get to a point where I am expressing my wants and needs. I have tried to put myself in his shoes more, and am dedicating myself to making our marriage happy. I am also making sure that he feels special and appreciated. I am still not where I need to be but I am trying. Part of the problem is the fact that we are polar opposites in most ways. We will never truly understand each other and we will never enjoy the same things in life in the same way. This is where compromise comes in. We needed to come up with something that helps us to meet at a neutral zone. My idea was to create Date Nights each month for a year. I try to make them something that we have never done before so that it is a new, shared experience.

Last August I painted a box silver for our Silver Anniversary and placed 12 envelopes inside with completely planned Date Nights for each month. All he discovered was the theme each month. He didn’t know the details until it was happening. I kept his interests in mind when planning each one but also made sure that I would enjoy them too. I started this on our 25th anniversary and just concluded the 12 months of dates this last month.

One of our favorite Date Nights of this last year was entitled, “Progressive Dinner in a Limo.” I had a large cube that had dry erase boards on each side. I wrote down 6 different restaurants on the sides of the cube, one of which was McDonalds. I hired a limo on a Monday evening, (very cost effective) and he rolled the cube to reveal where we were going for pre-dinner drinks. He continued to roll after each restaurant visit. There was a stop for an appetizer, an entrée, and dessert at the end. We visited 4 great restaurants in the area and had a blast. There was always the ever looming fear of McDonald’s turning up but it didn’t. I was slightly disappointed because that would have definitely been interesting showing up in a limo for dinner at McDonald’s but we had an incredible evening nonetheless.

We actually just had our finale Date Night of the year in August. The title for this Date Night was “Food, Beer and Wine From Around the World.” We ended up planning this together for the most part. We put together a Group Date Night where we invited 20 different couples over and asked each couple to choose a country. They were asked to conceal the identity of the country (Except to me) and they needed to provide a wine or a beer from that country along with a type of food that represented their region as well. Everyone was given a set of rules and a recording sheet. Their jobs were to go around and do blind taste tests of the food and drinks and determine what the country of origin was for each station. then they chose their favorite food, wine and beer. The prizes for the winners were Date Nights that I had put together for them.. We also had live entertainment. It was an amazing evening!

For our 26th anniversary, (This last August 14th) I actually created another 12 and made scratch off lottery tickets this time that reveal each month’s theme.The process was pretty simple in making the scratch off tickets. I designed and printed them out on card stock. I then took a white crayon and completely colored over the scratch off area. Next I took 2 parts silver craft paint and mixed it with 1 part dish soap. I then painted over the scratch off area (about 3 coats) and let it dry. I put the requirements for each date night on each card in the unpainted section, so he could choose one that works for him each month, (ie., temperature if its an outside activity, overnight, evening, weekend, etc.,) Our first new Date Night is scheduled in September and the title is “Drive-in Movie.” I can’t tell you more until its happened.:-)

I would love to challenge all of you, women or men to plan and carry out a Date Night. I have all of the Date Nights I have done so far on my blog www.ramblingsofagrandma.com but I have found a ton of ideas on www.thedatingdivas.com . It can be something small just do a mystery date that keeps them guessing. Make them feel special. I would love to hear from you on how your Date Night turns out. You can leave a comment on my blog www.ramblingsofagrandma.com or my Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/Ramblingsofagrandma?ref=hl I have to admit my husband was a little hesitant at the beginning but it got to the point that he was waiting up until midnight, the night before the first of the month to have an opportunity to open his envelope. He also has men calling him asking for advice on how to carry out the Date Nights:-/… He carefully explains exactly the steps to follow for each one…hmmmm not sure how that happened. But to be perfectly honest, it makes me extremely happy that he has gotten excited about them too. He has actually gone as far as planning 2 different Date Night’s of his own over the summer. One of my favorite rules that I live by is, change yourself and your attitude and the world will change around you! I am telling you that I am living proof that this is true!!! Good luck dating your spouses!